its 4am in the morning. took a peek in friendster while waiting for the hair to dry. the feeling of reminicience keeps crushing back like waves hitting the shoreline. the days of nyp, of attachment, birthdays, gatherings, presentations so much time spent together, experiences forged. memories nailed deep in the head.

It saddens me a lil to know that things wun be the same as last time, everyone has their stuff to move on to and grow up with, and as more and more things come plumping in, more and more responsibilites are added, and the hands get tight with so much activities that some have to give way.

i guess this would be the best explanation why ppl come and go. peering at friends' photos and realising these why im not inside really shows i should make more effort to stay tight.

how to say, it was fate that brought all of us together yet its choices that make ppl part.

to my dearest godson joshua, whom i have not made time to watch you grow, it pains me to only find out from friendster pictures that you can actually stand and hair now fills your head, not memtioning you have a very bright smile which could brighten any gloomy day.

its your 1 yr old birthday yet im not around to commerate this occasion.

hopefully all is not too late.

posted by ikaira @ 3:47 AM, ,




All I wanted was to study the companies, on its facevalue, to understand them and uncover as many underlying truths about the comapanies that the public dun know of,

But all is not within reach, becos of ns.







I keep telling myself: “my time will come… money will come… it will…. It is just passing time… everything will come…” time passing like now is slow torture.

Knowing that the company Im interested in is expanding and hiring, it saddens me further to know that this situation may well have changed after 8 months for everything…. everything changes. As the saying goes, the most constant thing is…. CHANGE…

And it dosen help to be studying with people who have a choice 3 nights every week.


I need a break.

posted by ikaira @ 11:21 AM, ,


Not many would noticed sections of classified but in fact some of the best articles are found right there. Below is one of the many:

Think big, if you do not want to spend your old age regretting what you have not done in your life, do something now.

Think about what you are doing each day and ask yourself:” Is what im doing now getting me to where I want to get to?”

If the answer is “No”, then do something different,. Get out of your comfort zone and change your habits.

An instructor was watching me use a piece of equipment in the gym the other day. “Let me show you a different way to do it” he said.

The “different” way was a lot harder and somewhat more painful. However, it was more likely to produce results.

The human body and brain will always find an easy way to do things.

However, as it is often said:” No pain, no gain” so if you want something different to happen, do something different.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow said:” If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you will be unhappy for the rest of your life. You will be evading you own capabilities, your own possibilities.”

It is never too late to make that change.

Story of McDonald’s
Mr Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald’s, was over 50 when he started making money.

He was a paper cup salesman who obtained the marketing rights to inventor Earl Prince’s multimixer milkshake machine.

He crisscrossed the United States for 17 years selling these mixers until he met up with the McDonald brothers, who ordered eight of his mixers and had them churning away all day.

Entranced by the effectiveness of the McDonald’s operation, Mr Kroc started thinking about building McDonlad’s restaurant all over the US. He thought he could then sell more multimixers.

The McDonald brothers were not too keen on the idea, so they franchised the restaurants to him.

He ultimately bought out the McDonald brothers, and as they say, they rest is history.
Mr Kroc’s belief in himself was unshakeable. He said later: “I was 52 years old. I had diabetes and incipient arthritis. I had lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland.”
But he did not allow his age or his physical condition to hold him back.

Think about the negative things you say to yourself and the beliefs too have about yourself. Do not allow them to hold you back.

Change your beliefs
If you do have negative beliefs about yourself, here is a way to change them.

Your subconscious will always attempt to move away from pain and towards pleasure.

So start to associate massive pain to your negative belief. Think about how it will hold you back and stop you from achieving what you are trying to achieve.

Think about how miserable you will feel if you do not even try.

Old people rarely regret what they have done in their lives. But they do regret what they have not done. So think forward to when you are 75 or 80, and imagine how you will feel if you never tried doing what you wanted.

Then start to think of the pleasure you will receive in fulfilling your beliefs. Think about how good you will feel when you achieve what you set out to do.

That way, when you are older and look back and think about the things you did not achieve, at least you will be able to say:” I tried, I gave it my best shot and I didn’t sit on the sidelines.”

So think big. The size of your success is determined by how big you think.

If you think small, you will have small achievements. If you think big, your success will be big too.

posted by ikaira @ 10:12 AM, ,


am watching live the dream and this scene where a 40 year old guy, who is the lead singer getting real engrossed singing his song with his band around his age.

wat sets everyone apart is the passion for life to carry on and keep doing what they are doing. a typical life of a 40 year old would most likely be go home right after work, rest and sleep.

take a look at my boss. hes 49 this year can cannot seem to have enough of life. meetings after meetings for the service, very involved in church, helping some co-operative while still active in badminton, for active i say entering competition and playing regularly like once or twice per week.

this reminds me of a malay colleugue in the work place. we're not really colleugues becos he works for ncs which maintains our computer and thus he is stationed here.

he was fixing my boss's com a few days back and were talking.

me: "any idea where did wilson(the previous ncs employee who resigned) went"
him: "he converted to full time for awhile and converted back to part time becos he found a job"
me: " so wheres he now"
him: "hes at bloomberg, heard he found it tru agency"
me: " wow, bloomberg is a gd company eh"
him: "yea, their pantry got anything, packet food, biscuits, soft drinks, anything u name it"
me:" ic, so how long have u been in ncs?"
him:" around 7 yrs"
me:" any thoughts of finding a better offer outside"
him:" nar, at my age(30+ i presume), dun think i still can study"
me"why not?
him:"just not my thing, cannot take it already"
me:"ic"

life is wat u make of it, not why u resent to..

posted by ikaira @ 8:47 PM, ,


Was going through today’s straits times and chanced upon this article regarding a french spiderman who got arrested for trespassing. Robert is renowned to have climbed skyscrapers worldwide without ropes or equipment. Aged 44, he just scaled a 190m bridge overlooking Lisbon and he has been arrested 100 times for climbing buildings. He will have to pay a fine of 120 euros which equates to $250 for trespassing.

upon arrested, he said “it was a very difficult job because the wind was strong and the cables on the bridge kept on swinging”

Trespassing in our common dictionary sounds criminal but to him, its just like a word which dictates his freedom, and the courage to break away from that is no easy feat.

Having the ability to shun out reality at times sounds enticing but when it actually hits you might be another matter…. Imagine two police officers standing at the top of the pillar waiting to arrest you and yet you have to finish your climb at that destination. Which means your destination is to get arrested. And since its at such height, the officers themselves wun dare to chase after you, they will only be standing at a safe place waiting for you to surrender, putting in simpler terms, walk into hell willingly. This ability to accept reality while being able to run away from it is not easy ok.

posted by ikaira @ 12:50 PM, ,


This is exactly the kind of thing everyone should read and refresh once in a while.

Regroup, regear and reconquer.



Everyone dreams of what they want to become when they grow up, but not everybody turns their dreams into reality.

Lack of family support, the ever-changing environment or lack of finance can mean that you have to shelve your dreams. But in most cases, dreams fail because people do not work hard enough to achieve them.

For example, you may have wanted to become a scientist but are now a policeman. Or you may have wanted to be a doctor but are now a beautician.

Perhaps you were indulging yourselves in non-productive “fun-life” activities, when you should have spent some serious hours studying enough to get through your exams. You may have not made a proper plan and activated it accordingly.

But the good news is that it is never too late to start working towards a brand new goal.

Everyone wants happiness in life. You just have to work for it. Stop dreaming that somebody is going to drop riches in your lap.

You have what it takes to become whatever you want, if only you put your heart and soul into developing the aptitude to change your attitude.

It is important that you have an aim in life. Many successful people have achieved their goals through hard work, lots of “heart” and smart work. They knew what they wanted, and how to get what they wanted.

They understood the fact that they needed to increase their knowledge, acquire the necessary finances and have a master plan to be achieved in a given time-frame.

They also realized that their plan had to be drafted in a practical manner, based on understanding their abilities and shortcomings. They created realistic targets as small stepping stones towards achieving their ultimate goals.

They understood the fact that they would have to change their immediate ways of working and thinking to suit the changing environment, and yet not lose sight of their pre-set goals.

Get rid of the “I am just another employee” attitude. Tell yourself:”I am the owner of my very own business – my life”.

Here are some questions which you could ask yourself:
What is the higher purpose of my life?
What should my immediate goals be?
Do I have the necessary resources to meet short-term and long-term goals?
What are my shortcomings
What are my strengths
Who can help me with my doubts and improve the way I think?

Then create an action plan, with weekly targets and a work plan to help you achieve those targets.

Do not waste your time or life. You possess valuable resources such as your life experiences, loved ones and your career.

Make full use of what you have to get the best out of life. This realization is your first stepping stone to achieving greater things.

posted by ikaira @ 4:00 PM, ,


its nice to know that most of your school mates are getting new jobs, earning better pay and adding nicer and nicer sentences in the resume.

but i cant help to feel sad. maybe its because i feel im just as qualified, or why didnt such opportunities didnt come banging on my door, maybe a little jealous that they are able to be in the financial industry (i know its stupid so im not going to tell you why i feel so), or just simply envious that they are able to decide on their own fate.

since stone age there has already been non-stop rambling about the redundancy or ns, how most ppl feel this is the worst spent life of their life, personally im quite sick of hearing about it and even more sick to talk about it

but i cant feel shitty because targets have been met and new targets are not yet in sight. it simply means life is boring and theres nothing to look forward to. from getting some award during the first 3 mths, getting the job that ppl dreamt of, starting the next phrase of life way before required, getting that extra patch on the shoulder, yadda yadda.

athought every hour, minute to every second of life only passes by once, and by not treasuring that single part, ill definately regret for not trying harder or missing out on that opportunity that is possible, i feel the need to let time whizz.

some say this is burnout or a short break for a longer journey

today, the colleugue said you are too free thats why you got so much time to do stupid things.

hopefully this is the case

posted by ikaira @ 2:28 AM, ,


was at somewhere in the east about a few months back when someone told me the story of a farmer. the story where the farmer always wanted more and more and more and when he finally achieved all those, he realize all that he every wanted was just to be a farmer. im sure all of you heard of this analogy in different sort and sizes

i cant help but to think its easy to take a break, but to earn it is actually another different matter.

small breaks like to sleep late when you want to catch a nice show on tv, or head to work late when you are able to

big breaks like going on holiday as and when the heart desires.

in its simpliest sense, not constricted by circumstances, surrounding, people, law, religion, principles

maybe thats it.

posted by ikaira @ 2:12 AM, ,