"Can someone explain to me why men in this town carry their girlfriend’s handbags?"
My good friend Anne immediately yelped, “Aiyoh, I cannot stand guys like that!”
“I know! Have some balls, I say!? exclaimed Vera with force. And on it went for a bit. Of course, the guys at the table stoutly denied that they’d ever carried their girlfriends’ handbags while the girls looked at us sideways, clearly wanting to give us the benefit of the doubt, but holding out on a final judgment till they’d spoken to our respective partners.
It eventually occurred to me then that Carly, witting to my side, had been unaccountably silent the entire conversation. I swiveled my head around to her and lifted a questioning eyebrow. She looked at me nervously and, under the pressure of my furrowed brow, finally blurted out, “Well, I’ve actually asked my boyfriend to carry my handbag! But only sometimes, lah” she added hurriedly.
In the ensuing deafening silence, you could have heard a mosquito fart. Much like a python moves in slowly as it surveys its helpless prey, Anne leaned forward and stared at Carly, turning head slightly. “Uhm, shy?” she finally asked.
“Well, sometimes, it’s heavy! What’s the big deal?” poor Carly said. By now clearly regretting ever opening her big mouth.“Well, that’s your fault, what” Anne exclaimed. “Who ask you to put gold bars inside? Right?” She looked around the table. Several heads nodded enthusiastically in response.
Under the verbal onslaught, Carly looked desperate. “But it’s a Fendi!” “Oh my god, Fendi, Prada. Who cares!” Vera cried. It occurred to me in the dim lighting of the restaurant she looked a little UmaThurman did just before she went on her murderous rampage in Kill Bill.
“But what if he doesn’t mind carrying it for me?” Carly blurted. “That’s not the point, lah!” Annette snapped. “A guy should never carry a handbag. Not even if he’s gay”
From the other side of the table someone said firmly, “A handbag is a handbag! If you’re going to make the guy carry your handbag, put it in a big plastic bag. Then I think that’s okay”.
“But even then,” Vera said, clearly dissatisfied with this flagrant attempt to create a loophole in the No Handbag If You’re a Man) Not Even if You’re Gay) Rule.
posted by ikaira @ 4:56 PM,
