this thing have been bogging my mind for far too long, maybe that explains y i not been writing for quite awhile. thou so, i've yet come to a decision.
the big question is ???for comfort or glory???
being colour blind, lots of chances have already eluded me and i believe i took it well in my stride, problems from choices of poly courses to playing billiard to being transfered from a potential oct squad to my current squad etc...
and due to this genetic disorder, i am caged with 3 choices for my vocation... staff admin, field instructor and service and technical. service and technical is definitely out of the question, im not going to be a handy man during my 2 years of ns. so that leaves me with 2 choices, comfort or glory......................
while thinking of the different points, im always able to come up with counter points which will make me do a ke balakang pusing, which leaves me at the same spot where i started.
- if i were to choose sa, life'll be a bed of roses, i'll be doing excel, sitting in front of the com, surfing Internet during my free time, so much information on the net to tamper with, to try out, im sure i'll be able to keep myself happy or occupied most of the time, and its been quite awhile since i took a break and let others take a lead in the competition of life.
- on the other hand, life is all about chionging, wats the point of slacking and relaxing, in 2 yrs time, i'll look back and wonder wtf i've been doing for my last 2 yr, helping others do their job and make their lives easier? they claim the credit but im the worker, promotion is another question cos the only thing i do is admin, how to get credit for promotion when im on typing on the computer and making sure things are going on smoothly, its one of those things like its "not-bad" but it also means it ain gd either, just being average and keeping things going, leaves me with a feeling that ur replaceable anithing, just like those factory worker
- if i become an fi, i'll ord with 2 swords on my arm, leading a group of youngsters who know nothing about regimentation, just like budding a flower, taking care of it and in the meantime growing with it. and speaking of the 2 swords, that'll be another plus for my future resume when i apply for uni or whichever, im a leader man, an instructor. but the bad thing is hta is far, damn far actually, even msia ain that far compared to hta. and i have to stay in, i lose part of my freedom. speaking of freedom and comparing fi to sa in respect to freedom, its like working life, exchanging ur 8-5 everyday for a monthly increase in ur bank numbers, anyway thats another topic.
- if i become an sa, i'll be able to study uni in the meantime, sim at night, tts something which buys me time, time for one is irreplaceable for it keeps moving no matter wat. and while im serving my ns which is mandatory, i'll moving ahead, striding ahead of the pack, and when i hit the interviews, i'll be equipped with a degree compared with my fellow aged peers who might not have the equivalent. but then again, will i be able to make sure i have gd enough grades for even further studies? enough to get honours and eventually masters?
argh~~~ whenever i think of this, its like thousand thoughts flying tru my head, this feeling of insecurity is shitty.
quote of the day: todays suffering is for tml's comfort.
on another note : wat if tml nv arrives? the ship nv see land over the horizon? thats y we need lighthouse and different points of our lives, to guide us, nudge us in the right direction, not to falter.
stay true... but wat is true anyway
posted by ikaira @ 1:43 PM,
2 Comments:
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At 1:12 AM,
said...
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do it for glory. doing it comfort will only bring u so far...
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At 6:09 PM,
ikaira said...
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gd choice, cos i figured out so as well.
if life is a bed of roses, den y live it.
i must be sick to choose hardship and turbulence instead of tranquility and serenity.
