Retiree in the Making

2011

2011-11-04T01:16:00.002+08:00

2011 seems like a success already, albeit with 2 months left, not sure if its good or bad, just let be.

One last task to end 2011 on a high...

That last task.

New Directions

2011-09-17T02:58:00.002+08:00

I used to be slightly minded minded, ok.... im sorry, i admit im more than slightly money minded.

But after stepping into society for 4 yrs? i realized it aint all about money anymore, money is a "more" tool.

i.e. if you are happy ALREADY, money makes you more happy, if you are a drunkard, money makes you drink more, on the flipside, if you are happy already, it makes you enjoy life to the fullness... you get my gist.

Anyway, while in NS and earning a meager pay of $800/mth, I used to think to myself "cant wait to start working in the corporate world, any kind of job would easily get me twice the amount i am getting now, and then i'll go " imagine the things i could buy, the life i would lead instead of now""

And so, I stepped into the corporate world very much money minded, trying to earn the most i could conjure. Little did I know what I got myself into.

Literally, and yes, i emphasize again, LITERALLY - i've stepped onto the Hamster Wheel, aka the rat race, trying to come up on top, running the Hamster Wheel trying to achieve the "socially conditioned" understanding that more is better, keep trying to outrun the wheel, thinking if I push a lil harder, work a lil harder, put in that extra 1-2 hours, I'll get on top of the wheel and be in control, be ahead, and finally live the life I truly wanted.... how wrong was I.

People always think the only way to get out of the wheel is to climb faster, to push harder - to faster reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but little did we realize that while traveling trying to reach your pot of gold, you are effectively still running, and you need stamina for running, why? because its not gonna be short, exactly how long you may ask .... 5 years, 10 years, 15? all depending on your income level, and imagine 15 years of constant struggling, fitting tooth to nail just to get ahead... how tough it would be.

But the honest truth is that - With that mentality, you never run-out / outrun the rat race.

The only way (my own digression) is to just stop running it not by out running it, or climb above it, but realizing that it all is an illusion. The illusion that you are going to out run it. The illusion that to be able to out-run it is essentially an illusion.

Let me repeat - The ILLUSION that you CAN outrun the race is actually an ILLUSION.

If you cant process, keep reading the capitalized words till you get it.

Its all an illusion, the faster you realize its an illusion, the faster you realize you are not able to control life itself.

Then how you may ask?

Relinquishing control is the key here - not trying to reign it in, but rather let it go.

On the same note, understanding that life will run its course one way or another, with your control or not, life goes on.

And the way to act to be abreast of it all : open yourself to a full awareness of your surroundings and yourself. Only then can you use the environment to propel you through life, rather than fight them or try to master them or even pretend they aren't there.

Adios my friends.

We got a new president, and life goes on

2011-08-28T04:05:00.003+08:00

It seems like a big thing the Presidential Election 2011. Its been donkey years since we get to elect a president.

But strangely after the GE 2011 - a national event that got everyone talking and unified us in that way, nothing seems to be as big anymore, not even this PE.

Strangely it seemed after putting so much more into the last GE, reading onto the manifestos of each party, understand them, going to rallies, debating them - "living it", cant bring myself to "liven up" this PE.

To me, honestly, the biggest thing that came from this PE was that the schools were used as a polling station so my weekends which were usually taken up by badminton coaching were all free. 2 days of pure nothingness. im soooooo much more into "living" this nothingness that the results of the PE.

Because, as the title goes - We got a new president, and life goes on.

A blast from the small little things in life

2011-08-16T13:20:00.002+08:00

Yes its been fantastically long! fantastic in a way im not bounded to be here, no offense but living a life a slight distance away from the web is more of actually "living a life". But on the same note, Gen Y-rians (in my case Gen X-Y) can never truly stray away from the web. If we ever move away, its like a holiday, an internship, a stint, we may leave(for a short while), but will never forget to come back.

You get my gist... The love hate relationship of a Gen Y and the intrawebs. Thats a story for another day.

I was on the papers while salivating my home made chicken katsu don while this article "Underground street theatre" Life 10 caught my eye.

In short its about 2 degree holders in US whom are performing art / acting in a subway! Yes in a Subway!, acting out "Romeo and Juliet" and other Shakespeare acts. The key is that they are aged 27 and 29. Late 20s... not 50s when you more or less dun have much of a choice to do things you want to do.

Imagine something like that happening in Singapore, on a SMRT train cabin...

Ppl will sure go :

"siao ar... no space already, act what artsy"
"better move away, scarly terrorist attack"
"maybe got camera crew around, better dun anyhow react and lose face"

Ppl! can we all let loose a little...

Well, the point is this - Socially Conditioning.

I guessed ive reached a point where I was socially conditioned enough to know you have to break away from it.

Here i go again - Socially Conditioned enough-ed, to know I have to break away from it.

From all the Money, the needs, the wants, the face values, the climbing of social ladders, the pre-requisites or graduations...

All in a bid to be daring enough to make a choice in the rhythm of "nobody can take this away from me"

Till you see me here again... I wish you all - courage to do what you really want to do.

Crossroad

2011-04-22T00:34:00.012+08:00

And here I am, 4 months apart, its so long apart that long might not be the right word to actually describe how long it actually is.

These four 4 mths have been nothing but busy, so much so that for good or bad, i truly have no idea. Am feeling a little burnt out, am feeling a little more comfortable with the food i eat, am a little more willing to indulge with the tiny things not necessary, but for one things im very sure of - much less time.

thinking back on a phrase i just happen to sprout out during a conversation "be careful of what you truly wish for, cause you will surely get it"

I once wished for money, as if nothing was more impt than money, not even work-life balance, sleep, indulgences. To the extend that extra siew mai on top of a dim sum breakfast dosen seem worthy of its price, unless necessary i'll more than willing to not get that canned drink, u get the gist.

first off, i aint a millionaire, nowhere near it btw, nor am i going to be one anytime soon, but i aint exactly scrapping for survival that sort, u know... too rich to be poor, too poor to be rich, the sandwich class, being average, how appropriate - the word AVERAGE.

but 2 years down the road since stepping into society, started with a lil stubbornness and sheer ignorance and hitting the road less taken, hitting bricks, walls, mud, rain, storm, watever you call it, i arrived where i am.

The boss mentioned " we should always look for a quantum leap in 3 years" and although im 1 year short of my 3 year, i think my first 3 year period is up, the next is the crux, whether i can get myself up to the next level and better myself"

and so here comes the bomb : CROSSROAD.

The sacrifice vs comfort battle;

The venom vs spider-man battle;

The now vs future battle;

So the best thing to do is to sleep it off, let it settle and think about it again in due time. So long.

10

2010-12-29T00:54:00.002+08:00

Its the end of 2010 and I cant help but look back a little to see if this year was anything new or its just another addition to the calendar. If i can break it into small and manageable parts, i think it'll really help in shedding some light.

Career : Career itself could be split into 2 or even 3 parts. I would say its doing kinda well, so much so im very enthusiastic about 2011 and all thats gonna happen, its a good sign aint it? Im looking for honor and fame now instead of the basic, if you are familiar with Maslow's. 9/10.

Finance / Wealth : Im walking the talk, doing what I preach, betting it big having paid the price of adolescences in the financial world. its the 1st - 2nd year into society and i've grasped the need to save/sacrifice. 7/10

Health / Fitness : Although I may seem thin and scrawny, I feel superb. Fitness seems to be in top form with the daily coaching and weekly competitive games. Dosen matter as long as im in shape, if only every year this part could be keep like this. Im starting to eat right, less cholesterol and more lighter healthier meals. 9.5/10

Social / Friends : Enjoying all their company and feeling right at home. 8/10

Family : Sadly, it is what it is, it could be alot better, but it could also be alot worse. the family is normally quiet and hugely independent, something im not too sure if i like it to maintain this way or not. its like we all have this personal space within our personal space. hard to explain or quantify, i always thought a new born would gel the family, but thats a way wrong reason for junior. 3.5/10

Recreation / fun : Having quite the time of my life, traveling much and enjoying it very much, always come back a changed person, for better or worse. trying new things is my mantra. 7.5/10

Personal Growth : grown definitely, but still think ive grown up a tad late. should be catching stars already. 5/10

Spiritual : Trying to find a connection, and still tryinggggg. 3/10

Romance / Love : Bromance, lotsa. Platonic, handful. Romance, blank. 2/10

All in all, 54.5/90, seems like a good year eh?.

Thank you 2010.

A state of mind

2010-10-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

So Oct's finally here and in slightly more than 12 hours time, i'll be leaving on a jet plane.

Heres the itinerary :

12-17 ShenZhen
18-20 Macau
21-24 Hong Kong

I know i should be getting all excited but im actually feeling a little clouded.

A snapshot of whats happening recently :
1. Oct is exams month where there is minimal coaching, which means passable income too.
2. The parents blood test came in and both have high cholesterol, father's was very slightly over but over the suitable limit nonetheless, but mother's way off the chart, so high that if she went through the normal doctor's appointment, checkup, blood test yada yada... she'll be put on medication for life to control the condition. Im not really sure if i should feel glad that shes adequately covered, we've discovered it before anything drastic happened, or sad that she had high cholesterol in the first place.

There are things in life where no matter what you choose, it dosen really matter much like eating burger king instead of hokkien mee cos you get full eventually, or choose to spend 2 hrs watching the latest movie or reading a book because you just have 2 hours to spend, but

this is exactly the kind of life changing incident that change the whole game, just like hitting a TOTO, landing that investment banking job, get married to a princess, get crippled for life yada yada, u get the gist.

Imagine a monthly $70 medicine bill, you have to incorporate eating pills into your daily diet, you cant even leave the house with just your wallet because u need to at minimum take your pills out with you so you could have ur pills on time, your would cautiously refrain from oily food like kfc or fried food because you know you have high cholesterol. so many controls and rules to follow and if you dun, tadah CRITICAL ILLNESS like stroke, heart attack, cancer... now thats life changing.

All in all, I think the best way to explain my current state would be a lost sense of direction not trying to sound cliche it would be "on the path of becoming who i want to be, i became who i do not want to be"

whereby if i choose not to work tml, i'll still be able to garner an comfortable income, on the flip side if i am exceptionally hardworking tml, i am still not able accumulate enough to retire and live the high life.

Argh... the sandwich class.

At such times like this, I always look forward to Monday's and Thursday's evening time around 6ish 7pm, because there is always a life changing incident happening without fail, rain or shine, week in week out, that might just change my life completely.

To the caretaker of my beloved liverpool

2010-09-25T23:56:00.002+08:00

Hi Mr caretaker a.k.a Roy Hogson

Under your fabulous care, my beloved liverpool has attained new heights we nv ever dreamed off, if your aim is to become champions in division 1, i think ur right on track and i sincerely thank you for helping us to understand that sometimes the sweetest things in life are best attained when going through the lows first ala phoenix style in Harry Potter movies where they die and get reborn, btw have i told you ur name is damn cool cos it totally rhymes with Hogwarts, ur cousin or something?

Under your great leadership, our talisman gerrard who is one of the best box to box midfielder seems to playing in such a deep role that if konchesky dosen recover in time, i think u can actually put him at left back since u dun use wingers and instead u love ur full backs to travel up and and down the flanks and send deep crosses, im sure he fits the bill superbly.

if u ever got tired of field soccer, u can consider coaching some basketball court street soccer, cos ur 4-2-3-1 formation uses so much of the middle there isn a need for wingers or by-line-huggers, it fits basketball court soccer perfectly since u dun use the wings anyway, personally i do know of ppl who need ur expertise if u need some reco, u know who to call.(only for u!)

Cheers
Diehard Liverpool Fan

So its been another month

2010-08-26T01:03:00.002+08:00

These days I realize i only spend money on 2 things : travel and shares, these 2 are (as of now) the only 2 things i would without a flinch fork out a sizable sum of moolah.

And so its been another month with the YOG happening in between albeit us not winning a gold nor getting in a convincing enough position that we actually believe we can win a gold. Somehow after all the "hype" and eventual disappointments, it seems like we are already elated to have a medal be it silver or bronze, very much "happy to be there and win something" kind of feel while the other big nations swipe gold after gold as if they are building a pavement made of YOG gold medals... how it ended up like that i kinda question but well thats another story for another day...

On the coaching side - this is the first time i've felt confident enough to send my st andrew players for individual event. the others are quickly picking up with the hard work put in week in week out, things look good, as the saying goes "you reap what you sow", well im feelin it.

The national day just went by and u cannot miss it as us tax payers money goes a poppin with the fireworks..

what actually goes on silently in my head :

"there goes a thousand",
"ooo, theres another thousand",
"wow, thats definately worth 5",
"aiseh, this one cfm at least 20 thousand"

and and and lastly Oct's coming! its like the highlight of the year for me at least where i'll be traveling and trying out 3 new experiences in one month, imagine that... 3 holidays in 1 month! I love my job!

at the start is the annual company trip which should be chang mai, then is the whopass 10 day hk/shen zhen/macau, and at the end of the month is genting's trailblazer, not some highroller gambling competition but an adventure race in the jungle, not sure if climbing on all fours through rough terrain, maneuvering through mud, poles, obstacles are ur cup of tea, but it sure rocks my boat.

2010-08-05T03:46:00.002+08:00

I've started buying TOTO... in a bid to take a shortcut, but im not really sure if i was actually looking for a shortcut or the adrenaline when matching the tickets knowing your dream lies between you eyes, hands, tickets and the day's paper or computer.

I Just Forgot

2010-07-05T03:45:00.002+08:00

Am catching 17 again on axn now, yup its the yuppie zac efron one with the basketball and yes im watching it. cant help but dream a little where things would be like in movies, all good and nice and always turns out right at the end... guess this is one of the strongest reasons why cinemas have been a regular hangout place for me, the sacred sanctuary to let loose and focus on other ppl's (fake and made up, i know) life in the movies instead of fighting for my own in real life.

a little something thou a tad too happy-ever-after from the film :
"scarlet, you are the best that ever happened to me for the past 20 years, I just forgot... "

uh... thats why my finger is empty, I just forgot I needa get married first.

Needa move

2010-07-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

I needa move but im swaying to not doing it. im really tempted to set the alarm to 1 hr from now so i can get a 1 hr power nap.... but but the last time i tried this, which is actually 3 days back, the alarm just got postponed 1 hr after another till its 8 in the morning... what happened in between i wasnt really sure.

guess power naps could be the new alcohol, cos after tasting it, u dun really get to control much of whats going on.

needa move.

1 more thing that died along the way

2010-06-12T16:27:00.004+08:00

Its the world cup once again, after 4 slow moving years. but this time round strangely, it dosen seem the same.

no doubt the hype is up, the radios are buzzing about it, the bookies have up-ed their advertising, people are all talking about yesterday's score instead of how the market performed, same same but different...

it wasnt that i lost money the previous world cup (in fact i made a lil profit) but it was that 4 yrs back i was a mere 20 yrs old and still in army, i had nothing to worry about, time was aplenty and my mind was more obsessed with how to kill time instead of now how to save time? world cup came as if its the best thing in the world, like christmas in june, like theres cny ang pows to collect in june.

what made me sad is that part of my life was long gone and i would nv get to relive it again.

-

2010-04-23T01:55:00.002+08:00

I've been A.W.O.L for quite awhile and its a gd sign i guess. gd becos i have been spending much more time with friends instead of being a keyboard warrior in front of a 17" monitor in an empty room

i used to write fairly general stuff without telling much about myself or who i really am, and i guess it'll stay this way by the way a blog works. you need many more words den a tweet and much more intuitive writings to do a decent blog write-up and not to mention it takes a freaking long time when sometimes i just lose the passion along the way.

maybe its becos i cant bear to share all my inner feelings right across the world.wide.web viewable just be anyone.

till im brave enough or till im too passionately patient

Requoted

2010-03-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

If u've heard it, im sure u'll remember it :

"Advertising has its taste in cars and clothes

Working jobs we hate so we can buy things we dun need

We the middle children of history

No purpose or place,

We got no great war, no great depression

Our great war is a spiritual war

Our great depression is our lives

We got all reason to believe one day we’ll be movie stars, millionaires and rock stars

But we won’t, we’re slowly learning that fight

And we’re very very pissed off."

Originality

2010-03-03T02:22:00.002+08:00

Got this from facebook, its from my neighbor's sister who is also my friend.

Originality at its peak.

Yi Xuan Why do I feel so "un"?? Unhappy. Unloved. Uncool. Unsatisfied. Un

Yi Xuan Unfull. Unappreciated. No understanding. Perhaps I feel like an underwear!! Damn!! I hate the "un"!!! Maybe I am an "auntie"!! Damn! I need more fun, more excitement, more money, more friends, more more more more! I need to be a bra, not an "un"derwear!!

65 See Red

2010-02-28T22:28:00.003+08:00

Was glancing through a book a good friend gave sometime back "Happy, 100 tips to feel great".

65 : See red

Red is the most vivid, vibrant color in the spectrum and is also one of the best mood-boosters - its no coincidence that the phrase "painting the town red" is connected with wild celebrations. Try it ourself : put on a red shirt, wear a red hat, try a bright red lipstick, paint your nails scarlet, buy a bunch of red roses, or throw a bright red cushion onto your favorite chair, and watch your spirits soar.

PS : im color blind, red and brown

Left Right or Center

2010-02-24T15:26:00.002+08:00

Recently i've gotten summoned for illegal parking, 3 in total, all within the span of 2 short weeks, the cny week to be exact.

1. $120 holland v - where i park along the road outside paris silk for a mere 5 mins where i went in to get my beloved s90.

2. $8 hougang plaza - in a parking lot without coupon, was playing mahjong with the gang

3. $70 fullterton - on pavement with all the other delivery personals, my usual parking place while at hsbc office

its damn angry when hard earned money just gets eroded away like that, all because the law says this that yada yada, btw i grade myself as quite a considerate driver, i try my best not to trouble other road users.

at one point of time i was even thinking wtf do ppl create these laws and do the enforcers use a lil digression before they create a dent in ppl's financial lives? (no wonder everybody hopes the traffic summon bike buang or langa) once dawn upon the uniform, seems like power is bestowed just like that, from where? heaven - definitely not, by public - nar, they couldnt give a shit. sometimes i really wonder will the individual gain my respect without the uniform on?

i was thinking to myself, should i :

1. blame myself for parking at illegal places for the first place (i know this sounds the most logical, i illegal park wat, so i should bear the consequences)

2. blame the ninja parking attendent (who are just doing their job to get paid to carry on with their lives)

3. blame myself for not earning enough money that a mere $200 creates a emotional disturbance (cos money problems are not really a problem if you have tons to spare)

Im sick of being poor! with this i guess u've known the route i'd took.

PS : 人是犯溅的，不犯溅不就没事了嘛。

Love is all around

2010-02-22T02:34:00.003+08:00

Caught Valentine and true to its title its your typical love-is-all-around kind of movie, no complains though, i fact i enjoyed it so much i think i was making the most noise in the whole theatre.

if you know me, im the kind thats relatively quiet so its either the show was damn good or theres no one watching. well, both were correct

the film was filled with a star studded cast in the mould of love actually with interconnected lifes and of cos their romances and love lifes. there were so many different background and scenarios that its so easy to relate to, and to be frank some really portrayed some of my most heartfelt feelings. no to mention the dialogs, they were the most captivating, very much cheesy and heartfelt.

Btw theres Taylor Swift starring as a bimbotic college teenager, very different from the love-songstress that she portrays, truth be told, the more i see her, the more talented she gets!

One line that caught me.

Guy : " when you love someone, you love the person whole, not only the easy to love part"

PS : It further strengthens my belief of not changing person to who you want her to be, because that might just kill it - individuality.

5 days to the north and back

2010-02-18T02:48:00.014+08:00

Its the annual ass-breaking-8-hour-coach-sitting-event aka cny where the family travels up north, back to the hometown of sitiawan, perak.

Away from the bustling city lights and back to traditional kampung life of internetless days where ppl talk face to face instead of facebook, twitter or msn, wooden planks ceiling and sidewalls instead of 13 storey high concrete hdb housing, durian, cocoa, ranbutan trees surrounding the one storey house instead of multi-story carpark and sheltered walkways.

Argh... if only simple life was everywhere.

I even witnessed a 2 hr electricity breakdown where the family just sat around the candle chilling. But decided to upload this photo due to the lighting effect. Thats the dinning table btw.

Its great to see the extended family after 1 whole year and rekindle some of the love lost. Every year I tell myself i should treasure this relationship becos its god-given not by choice but fate, but every year things happen the same as the year before - hes the whose whose son, nothing more than just a yearly meet up extended family member, I guess we've all grown too used to seeing each other once a year. maybe this means i should try harder in this aspect simply becos they are family, bounded by blood.

On the same note i have a vision of how my future family will be like, not too independent, very traditional with lotsa communication and noise.

Learning to love myself more each day

2010-02-11T19:19:00.001+08:00

Got my hands on the much awaited S90! i've always wanted to capture all thats happening before the got forgotten and so i finally took the plunge on the four third.

took it out to chinatown wanting to get familiar to it but it sure felt weird carrying a cam around. I guess im just not "the guy with the camera" or maybe im living too "inside" this environment that i dun see something worthwhile on digital. anyway the main aim was to embark on a learning process where by come vietnam in july, i'll be ready to shoot some decent pics. so theres still 5 more mths!

P/S:Other than my bike, this is the next most expensive thing i've gotten for myself. I guess im learning to love myself more each day

Blood of Age Quod Agis

2010-02-11T01:22:00.003+08:00

One thing widely acclaimed about us montfortians, highly agreed among my close friends are that montfortian guys always treat others better then they treat themselves, this is especially true if the matter is the adored. As we know adored is rather subjective.

I myself have been exactly one where i would spend literally peanuts on myself while perceiving that what the adored need is more important / much more worthy of me parting with hard-earned moolah. strangely we dun even blink an eye spending relatively disgusting amount of money for the adored but for a $30 shoe, i made 2 trips to the same place to get that same shoe!

No wonder we all have a middle name "菜头"

Angry

2010-02-09T12:46:00.002+08:00

Am doing my father's yearly financial review. Damn angry to realize some of the policies hes gotten are crap. I cant possibly blame him as he knows nuts about insurance, investment, saving plans. He just took the best possible choice at then (everyone does that dont we). we dun really realize its the wrong step until we've took it or someone enlightened came along and explained everything. the severity of the choices are like a few years of extra working before he can retire!

so my friends! please please please approach me because i really know my stuff! we're all young start ups where additional cash to put aside is very limited, make sure it put it to the right area!

A glimpse

2010-02-05T03:29:00.002+08:00

I went an took a glimpse mainly out of curiosity, i was actually smiling to myself thinking all was undone. not totally undone as in it-never-happened but more to able to take everything in my stride and smile.

Our path once crossed, but now we tread our different paths.

I wish you all the best.

Random Rants

2010-01-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

Pardon the below messy sentences from all over the place. If it relates great.

A 10min fully captivating episode meant so much more than 8 hours of nothing. Quality over quantity. The deepest impression always last only a mere few moments.

From an advert : "If that was how you 2 kissed, im surprised ur still married"

All it takes is a change of mindset / attitude / mentality

A dream was a dream where you dun need specific reason to quantify.

The more i understand, the more i think im not ready to love yet.

Half Empty or Half Full

2010-01-02T13:18:00.003+08:00

1 year back where i just started my climb in society, i was damn hungry, willing to take in every single shit that came my way, went to bang all the walls hoping through pain and determination, i'll see a glimmer of light and direction. I think this mentality has served me quite well bringing me to where I am today

But 1 year later, im kinda wondering if this trait still resides in me. My cup used to be half empty(maybe whole cup empty) with me always wanting more, is it half full now?

Looking Back

2010-01-01T11:38:00.002+08:00

Its a brand new year! a brand new decade even! and its time for some good ol' yearly resolutions to try to keep to, (or to look at it at in 1 years time and feel all guilty about)

1. Top on the list (and if i were to plan for every year at this very moment), this will still be top of it - BE HAPPY! Guess whose the one person that you talk the most to, the one person who you spend the most time with, the one person you gotta live with.

Thats yourself!

Like sun zi said "know yourself and your enemy and you'll win every single battle" im sure it'll help by first understanding yourself, why you feel this way or that while being kicked right in the butt, being rejected at love, or unable to showcase yourself properly at work, u'll be able to react much maturely!

I wanna get very comfortable with myself! in my own skin! in my own home without constantly thinking home is boring!

im sure most of you guys do, just look at your parents and im kinda sure u can go wondering how are they able to stay at home for so damn long. i think the reason behind it is because this house is made from scratch, brick by brick with their heart and soul and i wanna make my place / my room just like that - the want i want it to be.

2. Make a commitment to save! For the passed 23 years of my life, I have been living from hand to mouth with these thoughts :

"i've still got $100 in the bank account, what can i do with it"
"argh... prawning session costs $40 bucks, where can i get the $40 bucks from"
"the gf wants this (put in anything under the sun that you dun understand or rationalize with), how can i get the $150 for it"

Im sick of myself for not being mentally strong enough, not understanding the need to start saving, able to see the bigger picture. So i have set target! one thats a quantifiable, measurable, achievable(with a stretch and lotsa discipline) - Watch me hit it!

ok...tired. enough for a morning's worth but i still got lots i wanna write about.

till the next part of the resolution.

1 year of a lifes worth

2009-12-31T10:46:00.002+08:00

Its year end once again and personally this is my favourite period of the year becos of Christmas and the year end holidays. Christmas is the season of love and I adore the idea of exchanging gifts and realizing what kind of image you have in other's head and wat kind of gift you actually receive. theres also a feel good factor where everyone's in a joyful mood ready for merry and even if dun work as hard its ok cos its Christmas! to add to that, December is also the school holidays where i get to coach and coach. December month ppl get aws, get bonus i get to do ot and work double hard... no complains thou.

on a more serous note, Christmas also marks the end of a year, 365 days nothing more nothing less, everyone had the same amount of time and everyone ended at a different part of their own race. i was just asking myself "how much have i grown or achieved for this pass year" no doubt i have been given ample opportunity and grown tremendous mentally and emotional this year, but those are all unquantifiable stuff, who dosen grown every year anyway. so this time i shall set some measurable targets, just as the boss said " goals must be measurable, not by feeling"

till my 2010 resolution

Xmas of choice?

2009-12-23T01:42:00.002+08:00

and here it is once again, the holy month of december where ppl exchange gifts and share the season of love, forgive and forget and move on to a new year.

I think I had not bought a single christmas gift for the passed 3 years. ok i lied, maybe I did, but those didnt originated from the bottom of my heart, maybe due to company obligations or that I was in a situation where I simply had to, to stay status quo.

This year its kinda different, how so im not really sure, but if i were asked which is the year which changed your life, this year could have been the definitive one. Just to name a few happenings, this was the year of the breakups... here there everywhere everyone is breaking up, myself not spared, I've also started my first step in society where I realized that 15 years of classroom preparation dun do shit, it in fact kills you, you basically just need a cowboy hat. All in all one thing im definately grateful for is the opportunities i've been given.

This was also the first time i was asked for a christmas gift by my students. i guess i must be doing something right this time round to be requested a gift from. So that got me really searching for a "meaningful" gift for two young things I would qualify as my kids, and yes the paternal instinct is acting up! it also got me thinking back to the basics of xmas. its a season for sharing and im sure a simple gift for kids less than half my age would had meant a world to them.

PS : merry xmas my friends, and sisters island here i come!

Day -1000

2009-12-17T23:44:00.002+08:00

Recently i was at the company's year end meeting and we were asked what do you plan to achieve next year. One of my close friends / colleague mentioned "acheive $300,000 networth" and guess wat... hes only 26 this year... and no, hes no rich man's kid nor was he a president scholar of sorts

other 26 year olds i've heard of set up his own fitness center's

Its a big big world

2009-12-10T19:27:00.002+08:00

Im listening to some big big shit that seems way out of my scope. Im in it in a small small way but am already thinking if im able to provide value add and whether was i the right choice or the only choice. It leaves me in absolute awe with also lingering thoughts of inability.

The other boss once said : "you should only be around 60% confident of achieving your goals, that'll put you within reach with a stretch"

Subtly its reminding me that you gotta focus, so much so that u needa reach a level where u eat/slp it, thats where u'll be different.

A quote to close this neatly : Its good to have a spread on your plate, but too much of it will choke you.

A Year's Worth

2009-12-06T12:24:00.003+08:00

Its been one year and happy or not with the results, a year is a year, nothing more nothing less.

Change of winds

2009-11-26T15:10:00.002+08:00

When i was younger, i always wanted to act older, act mature, civil. But when im not longer young now, i want to be younger, relive those days i did not get to enjoy previously.

The older i get the more i understood no matter from how prestigiously civil or down low immature, or right smack in the middle average, you will still be judged. mere trying to be average just dosen cut anymore.

Think i grew up too fast chasing after things that I should not be chasing.

Yesterday's Life

2009-11-17T01:02:00.002+08:00

This title just came upon me and its so true it scares me. Every today is the result of every Yesterday's Life. Now i truly appreciate wat the sch quote meant "Age Quod Agis : Do Well in Watever You Do"

What was I thinkin

2009-11-13T11:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes people get so blinded that you really dunno what you are doing, living in the moment maybe?

its like u've reached your pitstop after a bumpy road, looking back at the just traveled road and go "what the f*** was i thinking" taking a forest trail instead of the highway, wasting all the freaking time and energy.

but theres always a silver lining at the end of everything, now you've grown and understood that making decisions does not necessary equate to living in the moment but those same decisions might actually make you not live in the moment.

Not gaining might actually be a better choice than losing

Letting it Settle

2009-11-11T17:41:00.002+08:00

Nearing a quarter, i've more or less established what i hold dear through all the bruises and knocks. but the sad thing is humans need to be reminded all the time, and the worst thing is im the worst of the memory lot.

Then the thought of inking ran right through.

On a separate note, i cant help but think about this phrase "product of my environment". am i actually able to make my own choice?

Product of my Environment

2009-11-10T21:40:00.002+08:00

One thing that I've started to appreciate and understand since taking my maiden step into society was: nv think you've reach the end, nv think ur on high ground, cos once u've have that mentality, ur screwed. The whole journey or in another words ur entire lifetime of workable hours, u'll nv reach such safe grounds where u get paid to not do anything.

That leads to what am i actually working for? money for the ultimate retirement? growth for personal betterment? or simply for the sake of it?

Jumping the Gun

2009-11-03T21:55:00.001+08:00

One more to add in the lessons nv to be forgotten "Nv Jump the Gun" Do the now things as well as you can, leave tomorrow for tomorrow.

This is Bad

2009-10-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

You know things could be better when upon viewing theres no new mails in the inbox you clench you fist and do a silent scream "YEAHHHHHHH"

Surprise surprise

2009-10-11T22:18:00.003+08:00

These days, i get all worked up when i hear the phone ringing, be it someone on the other line calling or just a short message.

i'll use my thumb to cover the the sender's name and slowly 'bee' ala gambling ban luck style except filled with reluctance instead of excitement finding an ace behind an ah pek.

"deal with the bad and live the good"

2009-10-09T12:29:00.002+08:00

Just caught 'The Bucket List' again on HBO. Great movie definitely... always, and i mean every single freaking time it touches the weakest spot in people... argh another love hate relationship. Love to watch such shows becos its that damn great, but hate it absolutely becos i do not have a single ounce of control over my own emotions. it sucks even more the show schedule is set by the TV stations who could be anyone under the sun planning all the which shows to cast, it could an old fart who've seen tru 80% of life or maybe a young punk who've just graduated. Its really up to the TV station to decide : "its time to screw with theer's emotion again"

You may say I do have a choice of not watching, switching to other channels, totally off the tv yada yada... but why the show is that great is becos u cant bear to turn away, u get glued to it right from the start till end.

The truth is I cant bear to be to 'touched' over and over again, not that I cannot take it, its like when it comes, it comes, you cant do anything about it anyway.
but deep down its that I dun want to, maybe that goes to show why certain things happen certain way.

'Youth is Wasted on the Young'

2009-10-07T21:08:00.002+08:00

Caught the title phrase while surfing. was stunned over it for awhile...t how ironic that a revelation hits you at 9.08pm in the night.

Its an amusement park

2009-09-27T22:15:00.001+08:00

Is it a temple or an amusement park.

I prefer the latter.

Classic

2009-09-21T13:51:00.002+08:00

Am enjoying my Hari Raya Holiday right at the comfort of my own surroundings and watching Catch Me If You Can, that steven spielberg / leonardo dicaprio classic right now.

Some things are nv too boring to do, redo or redo all over again, such like sex / slacking at home and of cos watching classics like CMIYC. I first watched this in the cinemas years ago, so many years back that leonardo was young, i was young too, not sure if he did the hand on the window scene already.

After 1 week of reservist which en-cums staring at files / waiting the whole time not sure what you are waiting for / dealing with people who you know will fail terribly in society / clocking day-hours for the sake of clocking it etc... it really dawns upon me that i really love my job becos public holidays are self-declared and not state declared. I get all the freedom and ppl do not treat me for granted. To put it in not so nice terms, im happy im not selling sweat for a living.

New Destinations

2009-09-20T11:11:00.002+08:00

As the projects on hand got operational and running automatic, things have more or less gotten back to normal(regression to the norm?), and this leaves me a little unbalanced. Have not been sleeping well the pass 2 weeks due to the project, constantly being bombarded by the boss to get this ready or that sent over. Thats basically wats happening if you haven seen me around.

anyway im doing my reservist now and was told to attend ippt. I managed to postponed it and thus came a new thought. Since theres lesser things on my mind now and things are so much clearer than before, i had just set a new destination to reach.

the 2 high priority on my list now

1. I wanna get ippt silver, if not gold

2. Repay all my motorcycle debts

You nv know when's the final goodbye

2009-09-17T01:57:00.002+08:00

and so if you have not heard, i've changed my bike to a scooter. am loving every single day of it esp with the time i spent saving and scrimping, making the prize so much more cherished. And of cos with 1 bike coming in, the other had to go, and there within lies the title header. Just like the financial saying goes "you dun know how much u had until u've lost it all"

Cheers to change, nv enjoyed it so much, esp when so much is at stake

Thinks you learn along the way

2009-09-09T00:44:00.002+08:00

I had always believed that one should not continue a mistake once you realize it is a mistake.

shall keep it cemented in my mind

Signs

2009-09-08T17:41:00.000+08:00

I feel like a disgrunted worker. The shit that i put in dosen seem to match up. Whenever i thought its over, bam... thats where i got totally wrong, it ain ever over, it'll only be more and more and more.

To the next perceived finish line...

eh?

2009-09-05T02:30:00.003+08:00

It has been ages since i've been working till this late, yes, 2.30am in the morning. wait, was there even ages since i worked so late? errr... actually nope, nv ever worked till the "early mornings" before. well, theres always a first time for everything. but at least im staying up for the right reason, was it right even?

Wake Me Up When September Ends

2009-09-03T00:54:00.002+08:00

I think i have a problem.

The boss mentioned he saw something in me : you might be afraid of success.

somewhere inside me dun wanna work so hard that i dun have my own time for soccer or badminton or the chill out sessions. but everyone wants to succeed, earn that huge pay cheque being successful and rich.

but deep down, another side of me knows that if you want to earn a 10k pay, u need to put in a 10k effort, its the law of exchange, things dun go easy all the time, if ur lucky, once, the most twice, never four five times in a row.

Quote of the day: "Becareful of wat u really want, becos u will surely get it"

New Light

2009-08-26T10:35:00.003+08:00

Finally am seeing some result after started working. thing are going to be fast and tiring, so much things are going on that my timetable is nearly full.

on another note, go catch this jap drama: change. first caught this on channel u and was hooked. thank god its only 10 episodes so i wun glued to it for too long.

on another note, i just downloaded final fantasy 7 on pc. can wait to start on that classic game!

Set

2009-08-18T22:45:00.003+08:00

The mind is set. will be getting a yamaha fino but a second hand one. it'll be something that looks like this.

Contrary

2009-08-16T22:20:00.002+08:00

The best shows(Singapore film that is) rarely head on towards the big cinemas. Caught 18 grams of love last week and im enjoying every minute of "kallang roar" now on okto filmart.

Change again!

2009-08-12T20:16:00.002+08:00

The bike is breaking down soon! and soon means between 2wks to 1 mth as diagnosed by my faithful mechanic. In financial planning terms this means it got hit by critical illness, cancer sounds proper. it will get well but it will need alot of money. so much that if i just top up a lil more, i'll be able to get a decent 2nd hand bike, and adding more, i'll could even get a new one.

So here are the options.

1. Get a cheap 2nd hand that'll last for 3 more years - yamaha novo $800

2. Get an new expensive slightly bigger bike - sym 200cc $7000

3. Get an new not so expensive, cute scooter - yamaha fino $5000

P/S: these are times where i hope all money problems will go away.

Not for the faint hearted

2009-08-12T02:46:00.002+08:00

Am watching Man vs Wild and just saw the man caught a small trout by hand. he was at a stream and as trouts like to rest behind rocks, he used a primitive fishing technique where he slowly guided his hands from the bottom of the rocks and thus press the fish against the rock, then slowly moved it up out of the water. Interesting! A definite must try if possible.

Now heres the thing - he bit of the head of the fish(still alive and kicking) and cleaned out the guts and after a quick wash, downed the rest of the fish raw, and he exclaimed it was like sushi.

The initial part of me was disgusted but strangely and most weird of all(i scared myself even) the 2nd instinct was to try it. the fear went away instantly when he said it was like sushi. how fresh can a sushi get when it right out of the stream and 10 seconds ago, it was still alive.

New

2009-08-11T21:57:00.002+08:00

soothing jazz in the background with the day's papers on the dining table brightened by late morning's ray and a perfect bland of coffee at the side.

One of the finer things in life without all the fancy.

Work Hard Play Hard

2009-08-03T21:40:00.004+08:00

The passed 4 days in bali went by just like a flash, and im back in the garden city once again. well i didnt exactly accomplished all 3 objectives set, and u've guessed it, its the bungy jump. maybe its the tight schedule that i didnt get a chance to even visit the site, shall leave it to the next trip or next next, or even next next next, argh, just somewhere somehow down the road.

White water rafting was enjoyable maybe a tad too light for me, it was a 12km downstream tolling up 2hrs. although it was already class 2 and 3 rapids, it was kinda far and few between where u feel u'll actually get thrown off board, maybe 5 time? but fabulous nonetheless. the finale was a 4m drop, spectacular.

Surfing was also one of a lifetime experience, a point to note thou: nv go topless ala the normal beach attire becos the some of the most protruding areas will get rubbed, not those sensual kind but the rough kinds, and coupled with not just a few times, but at least 30 times, it dosen sound as good as it seems anywayu get the gist.

Not to mention the daily activities that the boss planned like
- mass applying of facial mask, yes its guys and girls all 10 of us
- takwondo practice at 730am in the early morning on the kuta beach, yes very attention grabbing not in the right way
- initiation where any wrong answer will be allowed a 2nd chance of archery in the nitendo wii, at least 9 pts on archery or some bintang, yup the boss brought a wii over ocean for it.

bring on the next one!

The Bucket List

2009-07-28T01:50:00.002+08:00

Ever since the premier league ended in may, i've switched to hbo finding more bang for my buck. since then, i have enjoyed myself being a couch potato and in the midst of channel surfing i've reignited the love for discovery channel.

Last week, The Bucket List was on show. It was about 2 50+ year old dying patients formulating a list of things they wanna do before they pass on, ranging from skydiving, seeing something majestic, laugh so hard till u cry, yada yada...

that got me thinking quite abit about my own bucket list. Maybe due to my work, i have been influenced in a way to always take calculated risk, dun let the right side of the brain(emotion) overtake the left(logic) and thus always procrastinated against fulfilling those burning desires within.

So heres the first few points hat i'll try to accomplish on my upcoming trip to Bali

The Bucket List
1. Try something totally new - White Water Rafting. Exciting.

2. Try something that will scare the shit out of me - Bungee Jumping (if i dun back-out at the last min). Just imagine thats you in the pic, just imagine

3. Try something totally new - Surfing (if time permits)

Till then...

One of the many things i lost along the way

2009-07-10T18:28:00.003+08:00

During the good old days where the world wasnt as complicated, or maybe at then was i unable to comprehend wat was happening within my narrow sight.

At then, things were simpler, tasks were easier to complete, aims were not that far-fetched and destinations were not that daunting.

Discipline to save was one virtue i was proud to own then, clothed daily in my short sleeved shirt and dark blue shorts, i spent my daily allowance carefully, only on necessities and savoring the rest. I didnt know how but i was able to save, in fact i managed saved up $1000 only to blow it on a big ass pioneer home theater hi-fi set that now sits quietly in my mum's bedroom used for the occasional Theresa Teng and hokkien oldies.

Fast-forward 10 years, things weren much different just that they appeared in another appearance and name. i still get my daily allowance just that its now called income, i still need to pay for food and drinks instead of 1 dollar tuck shop food, i occasionally get to sit on a back-rested chair with waiters on tow. instead of erasers, ice-cream sticks and 2 dollar for 30min nintendo games, toys are called motorbike, laptop and equities.

Over the years, things will still be things, just cloaked in other forms, but me may not be me.

Maybe this is just one of the many things i lost along the way.

Getting used to Busy

2009-07-09T12:57:00.002+08:00

The past week has been hectic but its very much welcomed. kinda not used being in the house after noon, watching tv and let time just flow by.

Awhile back i was dreading busy, always wanted to earn the income yet be able to slack and basically earn money without having to move my ass. Sounds great isn it? its like winning lottery and nv have to work anymore, living off the investment interest for the rest of the life just like an instant retirement.

but the world dosen work like that, you will nv be able to succeed even if opportunities are thrown straight into your path, even if gold and riches are presented to you on a platter, things would still not work out. Even if you have it, it will be temporary, more like renting a property to stay and not really owning it.

one utmost truth that eluded most if not all who died trying to find shortcuts: "you must be in the position ready to succeed before you actually succeed". just like the chinese saying and pardon direct translation "prepare the troops for 1000 days, to be used in a single battle"

in certain industries, you need to be ready to succeed for a long long time before musical chair finally bestows upon you due to company headcount, illness, structure or even management oppression.

Be it long wait or an instant finish, you need to be ready when it happens.

4 more weeks to earning some rest

2009-07-06T22:26:00.002+08:00

4 more wks to earning some pure bit of rest! after working tru the weekend and clocking average 14 hrs each day reminded me the days as an undergraduate/nsf/badminton-coach/bf all in one.

at then, the only thought that kept me going was "only how long more before i get my deg" that was enough then, it was big enough to make me focus on the big picture on how sg works and trying to be ahead of the curve, or not-focus on wats unnecessary be it sleep, shop, dinner.

well its over and something very much over and done with.

4 days of rush

2009-07-06T22:15:00.002+08:00

The weekend just flew by and now its monday all over again. Was there even an weekend?

More than just 150min and $6

2009-06-26T06:14:00.002+08:00

Caught the highly anticipated Transformers 2 with the usual late night peeps at cine a lil after midnight. Strangely the cinema was only 30% full thou the movie was only just out, but the spaciousness was much welcomed.

The movie had action written all over it and it didnt disappoint, right from the start and a full 150min worth of actions and heart stopping moments.

When i catch a show, its never solely about the story line, the custom animation, the steven speilberg brand, the megan fox, nor the childhood reminiscence of the hansbro cartoon. Theres still the comfort of the seats, the visual, the surround sound system and one thing that cant be controlled is the person seating behind you whether he respects you or just treating your seat as a leg stand.

The story line was like a faint memory and by not trying to be too clever to change things here and there, its already a formula for readily acceptance.

With the Steven speilberg's branding, you could more of less gaurantee a decent film judging from the likes of Catch Me if You Can, Memoirs of a Geisha,Eagle Eye, The Legend of Zorro, The Jurassic Park Franchise, Men in Black series just a few out of the numerous.

Not to mention the megan fox appeal and the suave Josh Duhamel, its just like saying how to fail.

Still, its about how all the aspects merging together that creates that experience of more than just a movie, or another movie. How i spot a gd movie is that time passes in a instant just like in a trance, u r enjoying it, you know its going to be 2.5 hrs but tick! it just went by like that with you r fixated to the screen and the mind cleared of practically everything, no worries, no problems, no issues, except being seated and told a story through sight and sound.

Feed

2009-06-13T23:10:00.003+08:00

Finally! after calling the living room sofa as bed for 2 days, im done up with the room painting, it was a terrible idea to begin with, let alone the journey from start to finish.

It was a few months back at the kitchen table while the father was having his dinner. he casually commented that we have been living in this flat for around 8 years and the paintwork is starting to age. I merely agreed and mentioned that a new set of colour would be interesting... and that was it... bam!... everything started right in the head, actions were put into place the very the next weekend, rollers, brushes, tins of paint where amassed in the kitchen floor, and before long, my room is the only one left, how to say no.

Moral of the story: u can feed a person food, poison even, but nv nv feed him of his idea, cos when the idea is too big to contain, ur done for it.

Cycle

2009-06-13T01:58:00.003+08:00

As they said: take care of the downside, the upside will take care of itself"

Lets talk reality!

Rekindled

2009-06-02T18:43:00.002+08:00

There are things where we cant wait to stop like doing ns, running the 2.4, getting education over and done with and maybe even sex.

There are also things where we cant wait to start like earning money, driving the dream car, living in a private apartment in district 9 and maybe also sex.

I have been thru things which started with "cant wait to start" and ended with "cant wait to stop". Currently, im having the "cant wait to start" feel and i hope its not deja vu and wun have to experience "cant wait to stop"

Is the sowing finally over

2009-06-01T12:30:00.002+08:00

it has been 1 year since my ord and also 1 year since this greenhorn took his maiden step into the working society. at then, i expected stepping into work would be so much better, taking home at least 1k+, it would be at least an 1 fold increment from the 780 i had been getting from national service.

armed with a diploma, 13 years of studying and very sick of $6/hr jobs, i thought i was ready, i was confident, but fussy with the jobs i wanted, and specifically wanted a certain industry and job scope, how naive.

Words

2009-05-30T18:24:00.002+08:00

A man once said: "a fool learn from mistakes of their own experience, the wise learn from mistakes of other's experience"

but how many a times are we able to listen completely to logic and be rational, totally wipe out emotions. Its just like trading and speculating(not investing), everyone knows its bad to trade and speculate cos sooner or later one fine day u'll burn ur fingers and feel stupid about urself for doing stupid things.

Round in Circles

2009-05-25T04:19:00.002+08:00

Life is just like circles, with us running round and round no idea whens did it all begun or when shall it stop.

Left abit, Right abit

2009-05-22T04:34:00.002+08:00

it has been around 316321818 days and im finally getting the hang of things. balancing things around income, principle, spontaneity, responsibilities, time, control, emotions, economy, family ... yada yada...

Its not about having 200,000 in ur bank account or having the prettiest lady in ur closet, nor is it the hi-end LED screen hanging in the living room or daily hi-tea sessions.

Life is all about balance, like one of my good friend always said: "too much of something is nv good" too much of logic makes life boring, too much of recklessness makes life directionless.

hopefully this time, i'll grasp it with both hands and nv let go.

Tied

2009-05-13T14:14:00.002+08:00

i see an opportunity but yet am not in the right position to do anything fruitful.

to me, this is the worst place to be in, knowing wat u know and knowing wat is most likely to happen yet im unable to do anything with both hands tied.

alot of times, we choose the path we take not by choosing it, it is by eliminating all other not so possible choices that we ended up where we are with the easiest choice available and worst of all we are so fixated about it to be out path that we didnt realize we actually did have a choice.

sometimes we call it the system, we call it going with the flow, but by not choosing, you have already chosen.

The game of life - things you are bound to lose along the way

2009-05-07T01:51:00.003+08:00

Call it aged or call it maturity or any moral high ground to justify whatever you think will bring u peace, but these days i just cant bring myself to read too much of young ppl's blog, just 3 or 4 yrs my junior and i think we're living in 2 different worlds, i think im the alien from mars most probably.

sad to say i've lost something quite precious and im kinda sure it will nv come back, as bm said it, the candle of innocence.

Once its gone, its gone. it will nv come back.

Paranoia

2009-05-06T00:01:00.002+08:00

The older i get, the less risk i seem to be willing to take.
blame it on the job, be it the singapore environment, taking account of expectations.

Sometimes the biggest risk is not taking risk.

72 hrs later

2009-05-03T05:04:00.002+08:00

back. so much for trying to become the god of gamblers, maybe i should stick to earn save invest.

for now the wanderer in me shall be kept in check until funds permit.

Some diving in 3Q perhaps? Skinny dip anyone?

Spontaneity reborned

2009-04-28T18:16:00.002+08:00

out of pure ignorance or maybe trying to relive being young and reckless, im on my way outta town for the next 3 days, half trying to fulfill my outer ego as a wanderer and the other half trying to let out a well-hidden split personality being the god of gambler.

The Burning Ques...

2009-04-28T02:49:00.003+08:00

Its been awhile and nothing much has given me the urge to wanna type blogger.com in the address bar to vent. But after one big roundabout, i came back to this burning question that surfaced awhile back : is the future the future we wanted it to be?

was it really in our control or was it fated, did i subconsciously brought myself to where i am today by subconsciously agreeing to wat deep down i agreed to believe in and also saying or not saying wat i deep down disagreed to? was it really so intricate that a single change in place time person bus train phone electricity hungry anger finance will alter wat we are today?

Awhile

2009-04-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile, no doubt and i've gotten quite used to not blogging, dun feed the need to express myself that often, nor do i have a story untellable in front of my folks, maybe thats why.

But this made me wanna shoutout to whoever's reading.

If it made me wanna type something on behalf without any remuneration or obligation, im sure u know how gd it is. Enjoy

Turning Point

2009-04-07T04:42:00.002+08:00

Things become important when it mattered.

More is Less

2009-03-31T03:55:00.003+08:00

Now, even beer in large gulps dosen get high anymore, it just tastes like soothing water. is it becos the carlsberg only costs 2bucks per can?

The Ultimate Question

2009-03-25T01:07:00.002+08:00

Its 1.10am in the morning after a day's work including lunch at suntec's subway, soccer with the peeps at night, dinner was a can of chang beer with 6 salmon sushi. Sounds nice? definitely not extravagant, but not bad at all.

So wat if i had my dreamed matsusaka beef, or a roadside zup chai peng. Does it make a difference? I guess the answer to that depends on: purpose. If my purpose is to have great food, matsusaka beef sure fulfilled it.

But den, wats my purpose?

Old Fart?

2009-03-24T02:15:00.002+08:00

5 years back, i started blogging with intentions of recording down wat happened during my time up north-west. 5 years later, with a growing tummy and growing desire for beer and mahjong, im still living my life, in the same house, using the same computer, table lights yada yada...

7 years back right after o levels, i was still naive and didnt give another thought and brought just SGD300 to the land of smiles.
7 years later, i can help but frown over the funds required for next month's macau trip.

was it because i understood more from the world? i doubt, cause im still struggling, and some things are still messed up.

It sure sounds like the older i get, the more i've lost, lost the naivety, lose the guts, afraid to lose(ever seen a kid play any sport just not to lose? they play to win), afraid to step out of conformity.

Its like a deep deep tunnel, the longer we're in it, the more we get corrupted.

Alternative

2009-03-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

When you know u cant spend much so u dun wanna give heading outdoors a choice, the best thing to do is head to the fridge, grab a beer. the next thing you should do is to gulp it down at big mouthfuls, in intervals of cause.

I dunno is it the alcohol speaking or is it me that the first taste is always the best, it feels so nice and refreshing, but as u leave it by itself, untouched, unattended, it gets worst and for me, it becomes a pain to finish up the remaining drops.

Morale of the story: always keep a can of beer ready, its like coal in the winter!

The Weight of .....

2009-03-13T12:32:00.002+08:00

When rubber touches the road or when Christmas is here, we will know whether we have earned the right to party like no one's business or we should sulk at one corner looking onto the ungraded report card.

As the saying goes:
"The weight of Discipline is one ounce, the weight of Guilt is one tonne"

PS: Life is short my friends, lets decide now whether 30 years down the road we are drinking coffee inside starbucks or in a coffeeshop.

If All Wait's Over

2009-03-07T14:36:00.004+08:00

Coming from the earlier post, Selfless. I always want to do something like Pak Budi, I might not possess the ability or conviction to start up something as great, but if given a chance without all the worldly concerns (think money, think responsibility, think parents, think work, think stability, epitome of it all - Culture), i would definitely do up something like that, or at least be part of the on-going process. Hey, it dosen hurt to dream big dreams right.

For now, the scale is still tipping towards pure survival, nothing more than a lil stability or contemplating that a movie is of equivalent value of 2 meals of zup cai peng.

Maybe Someday

2009-03-05T20:36:00.002+08:00

Maybe someday down the road, i can trully embrace the road of evolution. From Selfish to Unselfish to finally Selfless.

Innocent is Bliss, really?

2009-03-01T10:48:00.002+08:00

When you are liverpool, you are a different class, you gotta act like your liverpool, putting in the hard work, getting the right results, getting in the right players, putting the liverpool brand in the right light yada yada.

When you are Stoke, you are not expected to do well, nobody's giving a shit about you or how well you do.

*The above are all fictatious and misrepresenting! Apply to your own imagination

The point is when you are liverpool and being so used to being inside the system, how things are done, how everything falls into place so well that it becomes "it is your fault and yours alone if you did not make it" cos the system has been tried and tested to be able to test through the test of time and through the test of environment. All the support is constantly there to the extent that "you cannot even find a reason to blame the other party".

You do not realize how superior you are unless you've been to stoke, looked at its system, looked at the way the formation it played, how they go about their training and build vale to the team.

Just like the saying goes... you dunno wats good unless you have tasted wats bad.

Reaffirmation

2009-02-25T13:00:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a Global Outlook talk. Im sure many if not nearly 99.99% of the ppl out there are afraid or fearful of the word "investment". The word on the street is that ppl are "allergic" to investments. That is understandable especially when their emotions go from " Optimism - Excitment - Thrill - Euphoria - Anxiety - Denial - Fear - Depression - Panic - Capitulation - Despondency" all in wat, 16 months?

PS:When you follow the herd, you will get wat the herd gets
PS/S: Extreme reward favors the brave

Unrealized

2009-02-22T22:36:00.002+08:00

Am watching The Pianist on OKTO, and this is the first time i've watched something on OKTO. and you know wat, i realized theres a string of interesting programs coming up in OKTO.

Aint life like that, you actually do have alot without knowing it, its only in dire times when you realize the unrealized.

Acceptance is Peace

2009-02-08T04:25:00.006+08:00

I just realized it has been exactly 1 whole week since I last blogged, yes there were the multiple cny gambling sessions, the numerous visiting sessions to those far and few between, theres also has been work and meetings to attend.

1 reason i seldom blog about work, or should i say nv ever did blog about my new job is due to the fact that surely in a point of time one way or the other we are the kind of ppl others shun and avoid at all cost. If u have ever seen "bangkok insurance advert" we are liken to cockroaches... yea u get the gist.

the point is i used to be kinda affected by others' reactions and sometimes even tried to hide wat i do. but events of the past week more than cemented and reaffirmed that i still very much love wat i do and still (if not more) want to share and help improve the standings of my clients.

Acceptance is Peace. If there ever was competition, your opponent is always yourself.

Chinese - The Third

2009-01-28T13:40:00.005+08:00

its 2 weeks in a row i've spent the weekend in our neighbors up north, for the yearly fly-catching, gambling, feasting, ang-getting session.

came back with mixed feelings becos:

- the kampong makes life in hdb feel constricted, we all follow a standard system dun we.

- conversing with elders makes time pass like a whiz, just yesterday i was getting myself smacked for running around in the house.

- cheap things make sg feel so pace-y, right to the bottom, I just want a comforting 3 meals a day.

For a moment, I didnt want back

2009-01-20T13:03:00.002+08:00

2 days into land, im already missing the wavy seas, wooden beds, fiery sun, daily fishing, and of cos my best friend - heineken. no doubt its a far cry from the material comfort of spring mattress, high level apartment, electric fan, computer and tv that we possess, for a moment, i didnt want back

Forced Relaxation

2009-01-15T22:17:00.002+08:00

If you have been around you would have known im involved in the VOR, if you have been around, im sure VOR rings a bell, easily. Due to sheer luck or poor advertising, one part of my daily regime is to look at ppl driving into the carpark, tapping my thumb while the number twitches one up.

every single day for the passed 5 days i'll be seated in a plastic white chair stoled from a nearby construction site and seated strategically at corner, i'll spend a good minimum 2 hrs to as much as 4 hours staring into space, bobbing around in a more or less lifeless yet prestigious carpark, looking at the day's news, switching from mypaper to the strait times to today and finally to a book highly recommended and purposefully placed within my grasp.

i always knew it was a wonderful book even before i started a single page purely due to the sheer admiration the boss has for it. when the boss says its good, it must be good.

Due to this forced relaxation, the book has been a source of guidance and enlightenment. below is short para which drew much more than just thoughts and certainly meant more than just letters on paper and definitely zillions times more than just a profit-enhancing tool from a $16.65 price tag.

Enjoy, word for word:

FATHER FORGETS
W. Livingston Larned

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guilty I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you, I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. Your put elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on you bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold you shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When i glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love your; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual:"He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son , crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

A new 365

2009-01-01T13:21:00.003+08:00

No more long listing resolutions which nv seemed to be done. My one and only dream for the next 365 days is to be happy. simple words i know, but way harder to be done than said.

to be exact, being happy in its most basic form means making peace with myself. with that done, i believe others departments of life will follow suit. they say with the mind set in the right direction, it affects other things.

one of the most important things i've learnt in the last 365 was to stop comparing. in the rat race of comparison i am proud to say i have slowed down if not stopped.

right in

2008-12-16T01:49:00.002+08:00

so the degrees over and i have my both feets right into the midst of soceity. so wat does it feel? nothing special, just like any other day during the degree, before the degree, even during poly days. so wat is this all about?

Finding Inner Peace

2008-12-10T11:23:00.003+08:00

I used to be constantly pushing myself, always thinking wat i have is still not enough, always wanting more, asking for more. no doubt it helps as you move forward with this philosophy, it was stressful and it ain happy to be always grumbling when things are not turning out as you have expected them to be, expected to me is the most optimistic way.

but 1 mth into the new job, i have learnt so much compared to being forced to in the passed 15 yrs (primary 6, sec 4, poly 3, deg 2). much more about life lessons and and also financial lessons which I'm totally in love with.

I must pay tribute to a great boss/mentor/friend, who guided, hand-holded, opened-my-eys. Btw, i have met a few other managers from other the P company and wasn't quite impressed by wat they put on the table. As nick personally relates, they always beat about the bush making it all twisted and turned.

I have found my inner peace with the pace that im going, slow and steady, im not looking at being the rookie of the year, mdrt or any sort of recognition, but if i ever wanted to be recognized, it'll be that i did the right financial plan for my peers and friends.

This revelation came during the course of home-cooked morning breakfast of omelet and prata with coffee while reading the papers with background music of class95.

As the boss mentioned, this is a get-rich slow way, although i have yet to see the money coming in, but im sure if i continue to do the right thing with integrity and honestly, things will fall into place.

*Please let me remember this sense of peace when the chips are down*

2 months worth

2008-11-25T22:43:00.002+08:00

hit the snooze button for that extra 5 mins,
hit the snooze again on my alarm clock for another 5 mins,
off the alarm and wait for the final draw, the handphone alarm.
thats waking up 2 mths back.

constantly checkout wallstraits / sgx / bloomberg for any newest updates in the financial market, talk to colleagues about it, and of cos, wait for lunch and 6pm, im sure u know why.
thats work 2 mths back.

after 4 days of company training and 3 days of intensive training, im getting used to the hang of the new job and style.

the office is always noisy, everyone talking stuff, about next year being the year of the ox and wat year they want their children to be borned in, the food around this new district or how did the big 4 all lost points collectively... yada yada. no need to act hardworking, keeping quiet staring at the com pretending you are doing something while you are thinking of wat to do after work.
thats work 2 mths after, now.

i kinda like this new change.

no more rushing to meet lunch time hours, rushing back just to be seen at your work station. u can stroll into all the nice shops in the district take ur time to enjoy the serenity in chaos, or just sit down right in between the 2 mrt entrances, its gd enough atmosphere.

4 days in, and more to come

2008-11-20T23:46:00.002+08:00

its been 4 days since i've rejoined the workforce. 4 days of training, from product knowledge, underwritting, compliance yada yada. it gets dry but when ur doing wat you like, things arn that bad.

It finally began

2008-11-15T02:44:00.002+08:00

school ended, papers cleared, contract signed, tasks appointed. so does this really mean no more student life and work society for watever's beyond?

It finally dawned upon me that it had finally began. like a revelation which always come in the most unexpected time, catching you off-guard left right center, just after finishing starwars episode 3: revenge of the sith, in the wee morning hours or 2:48am.

so is this it? the period I always looked forward to?, where money was little and although adequate for survival with a few dining luxuries here and there, it was never enough for lets say a PSP for Wii as and when the "want" exceeds the logical mind.

realized that in future, there isn learning time anymore, nor is there a protection-cloak saying "you're still young", "you're only a student" or "he'll understand when he starts working" Consequences will be much heavier then they always used to be. every step should be well-planned before chartering (like it ever happens this way)

but then again, the night dosen feel any less different, nor any more.

How was your weekend?

2008-11-11T05:05:00.004+08:00

So how was your weekend?, this sentence has been very much underused ever since i've stopped being woken up by my alarm clock... awaken due to job obligations... that is like 1 month ago, time sure flies especially when you are enjoying it.

day after friday are great, of cos they're great when theres practically nothing to worry on about. not those urgent enough to stress about.

In a chess match, everyone is a prawn, p.s. unless you are obama

2008-11-08T05:18:00.004+08:00

its saturday 5am in the morning. Today or should i say yesterday was my last paper for the bachelor. finally, after 2 slogging years, i've managed to reach the destination. cant help but feel a sense of accomplishment for the 2 hard years of lifelessness and moneyless. its time to catch up on the unfinished movies, bum around awhile, not to mentioned heroes 3 is out.

so what if i've gotten the qualifications now, the gahmen is saying now is the best time to go study cause its recession time and when the economy rebounds, with the right qualifications, you'll be at the right place at the right time. to add to that, aussie dollar has depreciated a freaking 28%, just imagine a few mths back, everything you ate then, you could eat 30% more now, everything you bought, you could buy 1.3 times more.

and you know wheres to get the cheapest ipod in the world? well, thats not much of a riddle, its aussie land of cos, and im not kidding, its true, it used to be hong kong last year.

and believe it or not, aussie land is not the worst, take a look away from our southern neighbours and far away to the place Eidur Gudjohnsen was borned. a first world country, inside europe, how bad can it be u might ask. not too bad, just 51% depreciation, everything times 2 or divide by 2. you house, its worth half now, ur savings - same halved.

P.S. ~~Choose the black-guy, save the world~~